I need someone who wants to touch my intellectuality more than my sexuality….

& he likes me. It’s a rare occasion that mutual feelings happen genuinely…

I’m lovin every second of this :)

(Source: thebelladiaries-, via jsudds)

So I write alot and I never ever share it but I’ve come so far since I wrote this that I think I’m ready :) I hope you like it !

Why am I ashamed?

Black is beautiful right? The darker the berry The sweeter the juice!? …yea right I’m a deep dark shade of brown So I become the source of the jokes at night

I laugh to cover the pain Only cry when I stand in the rain Never let anyone see the stains And yet inside I’m wondering Why am I ashamed?

Hate going shopping with my friends The only one wearing over a size ten Refuse trying on clothes cuz It always looks better on them I hear the voices of the confident curvy ones That came before me But I do not see the beauty that they see

&still I laugh to blanket my pain Only cry standin in the middle of rain Never EVER let anyone see the stains God, why am I ashamed?

My confidence comes from my education Yes I’m proud of my proper dialect But in everyday life That is not what gets respect I hold my head hi because of The strength in my faith And I stand strong My foundations built on Gods grace And Although it does not seem important To the “teenAge race” I will continue to grow at this pace

I will find beauty in Blending with the night sky Confidently try on clothes Without disappointment in my eyes Stand in front of a crowd Knowin that they love what they see Because behind my smile I’ll be completely loving me

…but until then I will laugh to cover my pain … ONLY cry when it can be disguised By the drops of the rain …. Crack a smile to cover my stains

And soon I will break free of These shackles of shame…

c-2da-j:

What if the pain went away? 

What if you changed in a day? 

What if you can eliminate 

All the games 

People play? 

What if Shyne beat the case? 

What if Diddy did a dime flat? 

What if Nelson Mandela could give his time back? 

What if Malcolm was silent? 

What if Martin was violent? 

ALL IM SAYIN IS WHAT IF??????

I’m tryin to remember the last time I had that “you make my heart skip a beat feeling.” No now that I think about it, I had that feeling with every crush I’ve ever had a crush on… Until now.. I’m wondering why I don’t get that feeling and I think it’s because my emotions are maturing.. If that makes any sense.lol. Because with this one… I’m more than comfortable around and I’m not afraid to speak my mind or show my emotions. We just kind of fit together in my eyes at least! I don’t get those butterflies when his name pops up in my phone and I’m not wondering who’s he with if it’s not with me… And in a sense I feel as though it’s because I know he won’t run into anyone better than me. As I’m writing this very second I think I’ve figured out what it is. It’s my own confidence.confidence has been something I’ve struggled with my whole life.. Until now. I know that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I’m beautiful smart outgoing and have a lot going for myself… And I know that if I’m not who he wants…. Then it’s not because of who I am… It’s simply because of what he prefers. I’ve never been able to see a “crush” in that light.

Like heres the thing. I dont get the difference between a blog and a post and my head is beginning to hurt. lol I’m gonna give this blog site a couple days to grow on me and if im not feelin it… itll have to be deleted lol

jsudds:

I give my all - all of the time. I do not give up. I do not give in. I do not give out. I am the Lord’s warrior - a competitor by conviction and a disciple of determination. I am confident beyond reason because my confidence lies in Christ. The results of my efforts MUST result in His glory